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Cellular forums Home > Archive > Cell Phones in Great Britain > May 2006 > Cold-call-fusion - what's your best idea?
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Cold-call-fusion - what's your best idea?
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| What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
I have seen response range from instantly cutting off the call to
leaving the handset on one side while still taking the call. My own
favourite is to greet the caller like a great friend like this...
"Hello. My name is Kaz from Fones4Profit."
"HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good man. I haven't heard from you in ages.
You know that ol d...
"Bu .. bu ... but I'm from Fones4...."
"Did I see you in that shop last week? That big new one by the
church? yeah, I'm sure I did."
"I'm from Fone4Profit!"
"Oh yeah right. Are you winding me up Kaz? Who have you put on the
phone now. No way. I'm not falling for that. Are you out next
weekend 'cos they say there's a get together at the old clubhouse.
Seriously. They said you would make it ..."
"Sir, I am calling from Fones4..."
"A joke's a joke, Kaz, you're putting on that poncy voice aren't you.
You were good at that at school. In fact do you rememeber that time
you shit in your trousers? Ha ha ha ha! Corrrrr what a laugh.
And so it goes on until the salesman can't take it anymore. I find
this really works nicely. That opening "HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good
man" needs to be really vibrant because if it is it will stop him in
his tracks.
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| Joseph Hill 2006-05-26, 5:48 pm |
| Similar here. Except I insist the caller has called an abortion clinic,
and I hurry them for whether they want info about our half hour walk-in
termination service, or if they want to make an apointment.
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| John Weston 2006-05-26, 5:48 pm |
| zeno, in article < 4476ff73$0$14127$c3e
8da3@news.astraweb.com>,
says...
>What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
>anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
I've a much shorter one...
Wait till you recognise it is a non-wanted caller...
Say "Authorisation code please" (or even skip this one)
(whatever is said, if anything)
Say "You shouldn't be calling this number. Goodbye"
(hear something like "oh -er- sorry")
....and no repeat calls from that caller to my number :-)
--
John
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| On Fri, 26 May 2006 14:16:53 +0100, zeno <zero@nomail.com> wrote:
>What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
>anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
>
>I have seen response range from instantly cutting off the call to
>leaving the handset on one side while still taking the call. My own
>favourite is to greet the caller like a great friend like this...
>
>
>"Hello. My name is Kaz from Fones4Profit."
>
>"HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good man. I haven't heard from you in ages.
>You know that ol d...
>
>"Bu .. bu ... but I'm from Fones4...."
>
>"Did I see you in that shop last week? That big new one by the
>church? yeah, I'm sure I did."
>
>"I'm from Fone4Profit!"
>
>"Oh yeah right. Are you winding me up Kaz? Who have you put on the
>phone now. No way. I'm not falling for that. Are you out next
>weekend 'cos they say there's a get together at the old clubhouse.
>Seriously. They said you would make it ..."
>
>"Sir, I am calling from Fones4..."
>
>"A joke's a joke, Kaz, you're putting on that poncy voice aren't you.
>You were good at that at school. In fact do you rememeber that time
>you shit in your trousers? Ha ha ha ha! Corrrrr what a laugh.
>
>
>And so it goes on until the salesman can't take it anymore. I find
>this really works nicely. That opening "HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good
>man" needs to be really vibrant because if it is it will stop him in
>his tracks.
I find it best to let the arsehole waffle on and then ask them if the
reason they are doing the job is because they are too ugly to get a
proper job like a prostitute or a rent boy (depending on the sex of
the shit that is cold calling of course)
--
Peter
please remove the invalid to reply
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| Graham 2006-05-26, 11:48 pm |
|
"zeno" <zero@nomail.com> wrote in message
news:4476ff73$0$1412
7$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
> What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
> anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
>
> I have seen response range from instantly cutting off the call to
> leaving the handset on one side while still taking the call. My own
> favourite is to greet the caller like a great friend like this...
>
>
> "Hello. My name is Kaz from Fones4Profit."
>
> "HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good man. I haven't heard from you in ages.
> You know that ol d...
>
> "Bu .. bu ... but I'm from Fones4...."
>
> "Did I see you in that shop last week? That big new one by the
> church? yeah, I'm sure I did."
>
> "I'm from Fone4Profit!"
>
> "Oh yeah right. Are you winding me up Kaz? Who have you put on the
> phone now. No way. I'm not falling for that. Are you out next
> weekend 'cos they say there's a get together at the old clubhouse.
> Seriously. They said you would make it ..."
>
> "Sir, I am calling from Fones4..."
>
> "A joke's a joke, Kaz, you're putting on that poncy voice aren't you.
> You were good at that at school. In fact do you rememeber that time
> you shit in your trousers? Ha ha ha ha! Corrrrr what a laugh.
>
>
> And so it goes on until the salesman can't take it anymore. I find
> this really works nicely. That opening "HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good
> man" needs to be really vibrant because if it is it will stop him in
> his tracks.
You have the right idea but you need to waste their time, not yours. So why
not automate the process with the Telecrapper2000
http://www.deviantart.com/view/22995489/
Graham.
%Profound_observatio
n%
Inviato da X-Privat.Org - Registrazione gratuita http://www.x-privat.org/join.php
| |
|
| zeno wrote:
> What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
> anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
>
> I have seen response range from instantly cutting off the call to
> leaving the handset on one side while still taking the call. My own
> favourite is to greet the caller like a great friend like this...
>
>
> "Hello. My name is Kaz from Fones4Profit."
>
> "HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good man. I haven't heard from you in ages.
> You know that ol d...
>
> "Bu .. bu ... but I'm from Fones4...."
>
> "Did I see you in that shop last week? That big new one by the
> church? yeah, I'm sure I did."
>
> "I'm from Fone4Profit!"
>
> "Oh yeah right. Are you winding me up Kaz? Who have you put on the
> phone now. No way. I'm not falling for that. Are you out next
> weekend 'cos they say there's a get together at the old clubhouse.
> Seriously. They said you would make it ..."
>
> "Sir, I am calling from Fones4..."
>
> "A joke's a joke, Kaz, you're putting on that poncy voice aren't you.
> You were good at that at school. In fact do you rememeber that time
> you shit in your trousers? Ha ha ha ha! Corrrrr what a laugh.
>
>
> And so it goes on until the salesman can't take it anymore. I find
> this really works nicely. That opening "HIYA Kaz!!!. He---ey, good
> man" needs to be really vibrant because if it is it will stop him in
> his tracks.
>
Just say you spoke to them last week and have already signed up.
--
Marc
See http://www.imarc.co.uk/ for contact information.
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| harrogate3 2006-05-27, 5:48 am |
|
"Marc" <see@signature.url> wrote in message
news:1148685921.847.0@proxy02.news.clara.net...
> zeno wrote:
own[color=darkred]
ages.[color=darkred]
the[color=darkred]
you.[color=darkred]
time[color=darkred]
find[color=darkred]
good[color=darkred]
in[color=darkred]
> Just say you spoke to them last week and have already signed up.
>
> --
> Marc
> See http://www.imarc.co.uk/ for contact information.
Always baffles me that people have a problem with cold callers.
When one calls me and as soon as they start their script - the
questionaire, the 'I'm calling from' or whatever - I just say "Not
interested thank you" and put the phone down. If it <is> real and
urgent they'll call back and I can apologise, but it's never happened
yet!
Of course it is rather obvious when there is hiss on the line, there's
a pause between 'overs' caused by transmission delay, or an Asian
gentleman speaks with an accent so thick you could ski on it and says
his name is Stephen or Kevin or Jonathan or something so obviously
stupid.......
Another thing that really annoys me is personalisation of IVRs - you
know the "All of are agents are busy at the moment ........hold and
I'll connect you as soon as one becomes free" It's a bloody machine
for heaven's sake and can'y be an 'I' !!!
--
Woody
harrogate3 at ntlworld dot com
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| R. Mark Clayton 2006-05-27, 5:48 pm |
|
"zeno" <zero@nomail.com> wrote in message
news:4476ff73$0$1412
7$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com...
> What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
> anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
>
They say "we are calling from '3'".
I say "I am sorry I am aware of the standards of customer service of '3' and
the terms and conditions they offer in contracts, so I do not wish to deal
with your company".
Usually works.
Sometimes they say "Like what?"
And I reply "like gluing the SIMs in the phones".
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| Ian Smith 2006-05-28, 5:48 pm |
| zeno wrote:
> What's the best way to deal with cold calling mobile salesmen (or
> anything else salesmen) if you are on the TPS list?
Me "Hello?"
Caller "I'm calling on behalf of Orange/3/O2 ... etc, etc, etc"
Me "Who are you trying to contact?"
(Note: at this point you can tell whether they really do have your
account details because if they do, they'll have your name, address etc)
Caller "Er ... You"
Me "Who are you trying to contact? I need a name."
Caller "Er ... the Account Holder"
Me "I need a name or a I can't put you through. I'm not allowed to -
security, I'm afraid"
Caller "Er ... Goodbye"
They don't call back.
regards, Ian
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| zacnici 2006-05-28, 5:48 pm |
| Or if you are on TSP, go along with it and ask for their details then
tell them that you are now reporting them for calling a TSP registered
number and that they now face a possible fine of =A35,000 for calling a
TSP registered number under the enforcement mechanism provided by the
Data Protection Act and that their Data Protection Manager will in all
probability be hauled over the coals. In reality a fine is unlikely to
be imposed for a first offence but they will be required to tighten up
their act, if they don't they'll get fined.
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